Fear of the Dreaded Publish Button

For years I've held on to Birth of a Vixen. It is saved in three different locations in several formats. There have been six versions of this particular manuscript. One was more romantic. While another had a James Bond flare. All staying true to Angela and her quest to become Veronica -the vixen with a brave heart and an iron fist. Everytime I typed or re-read the end I felt like a small school girl about to pass her first Do you like me?' note with the check yes or no boxes.

Birth of a Vixen made a few rounds out to agents. All rejected, but none left me with a feeling of drea. Every thanks but no thanks email made me excited. I was raised by a salesman. Every no got me closer to YES!

One day that brilliant light bulb turned on in my crazy brain. Why was I seeking approval from agents when there are a dozen ways to get a "Woot!" or "Thanks, but no thanks" from the readers?

I delved headlong in t researching self-publishing. Thankfully uncovering new ideas is one of my favorite things to do online. Then I went to conferences. The most enlightening was Writers Digest Conference East in April 2013. Not only did it teach me a lot about the industry but also about me, too. I'd never been to New York. What made the adventure even more thrilling was I went alone. It was a pilgrimage to the most amazing pace on the planet. Through the new-found courage I discovered the strength needed to charge into self-publishing.

Thanks to my wonderful editor, Jeff Holland, and my dear friend, Kirstin Rowan, one by one the kinks were worked out.

Thanks to amazing support from inspiring and informative sites such as http://www.writeintoprint.com/, http://www.thebookdesigner.com/, http://www.thecreativepenn.com/ and especially in the beginning, http://absolutewrite.com/. Without your help I'd probably still be dreaming it instead of living it.

Still with all the knowledge and prep work my nerves got the better of me. Doubt skipped my brain and went straight for my stomach. There was no way I allowed myself a moment to think about what I was going to do: Press The Publish Now Button (bum bum bum) So I made a big breakfast for the whole family, baked Christmas cookies and played tea party. I needed to stay busy so badly I watched Katy Perry's Part of Me. Really? Really! I was THAT scared.

Finaly, I ate a double chocolate chip cookie and sat at the computer desk. With a heavy sigh and shaky hands I pressed that tiny button. After gently pounding my forehead on the desk I reached out for Princess Dani and hugged her as tight as I would a my size Elsa doll.

She had no idea what to make of me. So we marched back into the kitchen and made more cookies instead of delving further into the thought pattern d "OMG! OMG! OMG!"

Lesson learned: Yes, publishing is terrifying but it can be conquered with knowledge, conviction and the right chocolate cookie matched with an encouraging hug.